BAKS IN MY LIFE

I happen to traverse the Statehouse/ Kilimani area these days as i go to work and aside from the change in scenery which is more greenery and cleaner air, there are the posh cars aka fuel guzzlers.

Now do not get me wrong...u want to drive a big car with your name as its licence plate...jibonde! I only seem to get this knot on my stomache when the vehicle in question has the infamous GK plate coz in my heart im like "there goes my tax money".  In this kenya where leadership counts for little, its extremely disturbing when all i can count for my tax money is this fuel guzzler whizzing by.

But what even irks me more is when they happen to be several: i call them the entourage. I know since al shabaab dropped their greenades around, Kenya is not secure as it should be but really...must the entourage pull those theatrics of running us off the road like they are an ambulance? In a hurry? Really? to do what? steal more cash from kenyans? oh yah! bas, pave way.

Last week I had the rare encounter to be inconvinienced by none other than Baks himself (and entourage). Baks for those who are not familiar with kenyan lingo is the other name we call our president Kibaki. So we are approaching State house gate A (thats the middle/main gate) when we are stopped by a cop as he leans on his radio to listen out. Ahead are another 3 groups of traffic cops stationed in strategic places of either sides of the road, GSU's and plain clothes not forgetting the big police kahuna who wears the brown khaki unform. No wonder nairobi becomes gridlocked when Baks pita's; all the cops are here waiting for him to safely enter gate A so the rest of us just jipanga.

So i chill and then i decide to zima the car seeing as its going to be another 15 minutes before the entourage enter the haloed gates. Then this cop comes towards me and signals with his car that i turn on the car. So I do, then he is like now signalling frantically i turn off the car which i do. Then he walks to my window and is like: "I am sorry madam, was your car off when i asked you turn it on?" I am like yes. "Im sorry, keep it off", he says and moves ahead to tell the drivers of the other cars to zima their cars. He was so good mannered i could not be mad but i wanted to know how does my car being on affect Baks grand entry into State House? I will never know.

15 minutes later Baks and entourage whizz by. All those mercedes benz' fueled by my tax money grrr. There  is nothing so ceremonial but i wanted to see if Baks was sleeping in the back of the limo...did not get a glimpse. So they got in. Shows over. So i turn on my motogari to get ready to start moving. Mr policeman with the radio on his ear motiones his hand in the signature kenyan cop "stop" sign. "Huh!" si baks amepita? What else is there to do? I can hear hooting behind me. I feel them but Mr policeman's hand remains up high. Whats the hold up? Susan my workmate tells me jokingly that it must be coz the gate is open and we must wait for it to close. Shock of shocks its the gate we are waiting for to close!

WE BOTH BURST OUT LAUGHING! Seriously?!

Ok, what am i going to do, cruise into the gate at breakneck speed, past the armed GSU fellas without being hit with one bullet and past the entire entourage to get to Baks and hurt him? Really!!!

Wah! i have never died of laughter like that.

Ok, perhaps security intelligence can explain this to me the layman coz i did not get it. All in all,i continued with my journey into another traffic jam, also caused by Baks and safely got home an hour later. Thanks Baks.