THE WORD LESS

Its everywhere, you see it on the tv, you hear it on the radio, its the most sought after thing...the search for the ideal mate to spend you forever with. I dint really think much about it until i saw this very young couple holding hands in town and it made me think, wah,theres pressure to huk up! For a minute there i asked myself if the pressure was that high when i was back at high school, to huk up that is...hmm...thats debatable seeing as our version of huking up is somewhat different from the huk up we see now.

To ask why would generate another big debate so im going to focus on is: before calling on the radio to ask the presenter to find you a man or woman, or texting 'single' to 6677 (not the real number) or attending the Easy FM singles party or whatever other means i hear people use to huk up these days...what we really need to ask ourselves first is;
1. what do i really want?
2. what does huk up really mean to me?

Now when i was young (teeheehee) no, actually after i cleared Form Four there was i mentorship bible study i was a member of. Simply put, an older christian woman inculcates christian values in the younger woman's life in the hope that they will raise a generation of young people with the kind of values that will see them succeed in life, marriage and work under the umbrella of christianity. One of the things we were once told was to write a list of the kind of man we would want to marry...no matter how silly it sounded just put it down in the list. I have to admit that at 18 years ur world view is a bit warped and the list may have been a bit unrealistic but several years down the line, some of them remained and held true...id say the experiences i went through after writing the list made me rewrite my expectations of my future husband,nonetheless im glad i wrote the list because it was my compass in finding exactly what direction i wanted to go with in choosing the man that i married. The point of that whole exercise was direction and discovery.

Many of us ladies do not really know what they want or what they SHOULD want in a man...the same goes for some guys although going by what i have seen, the woman of Proverbs 31 pretty much sums up the guys wish list. I think women should also know what they want...and im guessing if i search the bible ill find the woman's wishlist too! However, you cant really know what you want in someone else if you really dont know what ur about first. Its very easy to say: "he should be tall, dark and handsome" just coz thats what everyone says a good man should be about.

I watched a tyler perry movie jana which was focussing on this issue. There was the woman who had low self-esteem that she did not think she deserved a good man even if he was right there in her face (and he was!),then there was the woman who just wanted the world to see she was not alone so any man would do, including the abusive type and thats what she got,then there was the girl who because she had never felt love from her mother fell for the first guy who told her she was all that...im guessing some of us are these women..perhaps at different levels..maybe theres more to the list..

Theres got to be a line for all of us...marriage is not something to be taken lightly..neither is dating for that matter...no pressure should make you sink below what you are really worth..but first do you really know ur worth? And men, do you know that when you love a woman and respect her, she submits to you? Its all about bowing down to the right thing, no point giving your all to someone who is not worth it...

Most important, you get ur true compass on who you are by going to the One who created you..just a thot..or three!