CONTROL

Control...sometimes u have it..other times u loose it..or lack it..
lets just say this word has never had more meaning in my life than
two weeks ago when i had to leave our baby for the first time and head to work..
i felt for the first time what really loosing control means...
i mean...since i got pregnant, i took care of her...then i gave birth and i was directly in touch with her every move or sound..i changed her diapers..i breastfed her...now..i had to leave all that to a woman who really does not feel as strongly as i do about my baby... it is just a job to her...
i found myself asking: will she feed her? will she bath her like i taught her...remembering those tufolds in her feet? will she just leave her in the house and go maroundi'z or will she go beyond just doing her job and take care of her?
Its back to control...i had no control of what happens to my baby when im at work
and that for a first-time mom...that can break u down..
So far..so good...the baby seems well...but there is that thing..that nagging feeling...that everything is not well...its called worry...how i worried...
until one day i chanced upon a gospel artist..one of my favourites might i add..on tv..
yolanda adams...
she was talking about a time when she was on tour and her child back at home was so sick..
like any mom, the thought of dropping everything to be with her child came to mind..
"i need to be there...when im there..everything will be fine" she'd keep telling herself
infact her prayer was "God, take care of my child till i get home..i'll take it from there"
but God told her and i paraphrase " kwani Me im not already here to take care of this child?"
the tune changed at that point...and interestingly it also changed for me
Because you see, u never will be where u want to be and even if u try..something will come in the way...i call it loosing control...God calls it "Let Me handle it"
Infact, life should be about letting go and letting God..
Since that day i leave the house every morning, a little less stressed..
i mean, God of the universe is minding our baby..taking care of her..
who else would be more qualified to care for anyone than God?
Now spin my story to a situation ur struggling to control...
and try God for a change.